Hairwashing and Bathtime Safety for Older Baby

Although most older babies enjoy being in the bath, a lot of them hate having their hair washed. If yours is one who does, you'll probably want to keep hairwashing to a minimum — quite a lot can be accomplished just by gentle brushing and by rubbing over her hair with a damp flannel.

When you have to wash her hair, a shampoo shield can help. If that doesn't work, you can try washing her hair before you put her in the bath. The easiest way is probably to have a bowl of water on the bathroom floor, and to kneel next to it, with your baby lying on her back on your lap, with her head over the bowl. If you wet - and rinse - her hair with a flannel, you won't get any water in her eyes.

Give her a toy to hold to keep her occupied and you're less likely to have to cope with waving arms getting in the way.

Bathtime Safety

• Never leave your baby unattended in the bath. If the phone rings, or the doorbell goes, ignore it. If you find you've forgotten something, do without it or wait till you've got her out of the bath before you go and get it.
• A rubber mat in the bottom of the bath can make it less slippy.
• Don't add hot water to the bath while your baby is in it.
• If the hot tap feels hot after you've run the water, wrap a flannel round it.
• Don't let her pull herself up on the side of the bath.
• Keep any soap or bath liquid or shampoo out of your baby's reach.

Coping with a Crying Baby

Having a baby who seems to cry all the time can be a soul-destroying experience. You want so much to make her happy, but you just don't seem to be able to.
It doesn't help matters that the time babies cry the most — during the first three months — is also the time when you may be feeling your least confident about being a parent. If you can, try and hang on to the thought that the crying phase will pass (it will).

Almost all parents at some point find that their baby's crying becomes too much. If this happens to you, and you feel you just can't cope any more, put your baby gently in a safe place and go into another room for a few minutes. Then try one or more of the following:

• close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Some people also find it helps to imagine themselves in a peaceful place
• count to ten (or 100, if you're very wound up)
• turn on the radio or television so that you can't hear the baby crying
• shout at the wall (it's better than shouting at the baby) or sing loudly
• punch, shake or throw a pillow
• phone a friend and let your feelings out. When you feel calmer, go back to your baby and give her a cuddle.

These are short-term solutions. If you find you're getting stressed every day because of your baby's crying, see if you can arrange for someone else to look after the baby for a couple of hours so you can. have a break.

If you're getting desperate, talk to your health visitor or GR

How to Create Secure Baby Attachment

Secure relationships tend to be those in which the parents have consistently responded to their baby's needs, so that the baby feels appreciated, important and loved. Psychologists call this first relationship, an attachment, by which they mean a long-lasting bond between two people — the baby and (usually) the mum.

Attachment has little to do with the amount of time you spend with your baby, and even less with the number of toys you buy her, but has everything to do with tuning in to what she needs. Some babies need a lot of time to themselves, others crave company, some like a lot of action, others to sit quietly and cuddle, and most need a bit of each, at least some of the time.

Give her the time that she really needs and she'll be more securely attached to you.
To learn that the world is a safe place and that food, comfort and reassurance are on hand when needed, is a vital lesson.

Paradoxically, the more securely attached she is, the more confident she will be to leave you and go off to explore. Once she's full of love and self-worth she can go a long way, just so long as she knows you're there when she needs to go back to you and restock.

It's a pattern that she will carry with her into future relationships. A woman who, as a baby, has been taught how to love herself will search out and find other confident, self-assured people; she'll enjoy relationships that are good for her. It's a pattern that, once set, can happily last a life-time.