How to Create Secure Baby Attachment

Secure relationships tend to be those in which the parents have consistently responded to their baby's needs, so that the baby feels appreciated, important and loved. Psychologists call this first relationship, an attachment, by which they mean a long-lasting bond between two people — the baby and (usually) the mum.

Attachment has little to do with the amount of time you spend with your baby, and even less with the number of toys you buy her, but has everything to do with tuning in to what she needs. Some babies need a lot of time to themselves, others crave company, some like a lot of action, others to sit quietly and cuddle, and most need a bit of each, at least some of the time.

Give her the time that she really needs and she'll be more securely attached to you.
To learn that the world is a safe place and that food, comfort and reassurance are on hand when needed, is a vital lesson.

Paradoxically, the more securely attached she is, the more confident she will be to leave you and go off to explore. Once she's full of love and self-worth she can go a long way, just so long as she knows you're there when she needs to go back to you and restock.

It's a pattern that she will carry with her into future relationships. A woman who, as a baby, has been taught how to love herself will search out and find other confident, self-assured people; she'll enjoy relationships that are good for her. It's a pattern that, once set, can happily last a life-time.